Why is Columbian Dave the best E-Mailer in the world?

Why is Queen the best band in the world?

Most of you are probably asking yourselves – Is Queen the best band in the world? And if so, what constitutes the best band in the world?

Well, I say fuck you. Why you gotta ask questions? Let me finish what I started first, and then you can go ahead and dissect my paper.

As I woke up this morning, still tired from having stayed up late looking for old videos of country greats like Tex Williams, Bob Wills, and Hank Williams, manage to get up and make my way into the washroom for a much deserved morning shower.
It was in the shower when a certain melody struck me. At that precise moment I did not know what the melody was but I was certain that it rocked. I proceeded to get out of the shower, brush my teeth and get dressed while still humming the melody.

Man purse (or fucking awesome bag as I like to call it), wallet, cell phone, keys, sun glasses… Check, check, check, check, check, Ipod? Almost forgot to unplug the Ipod and take it with me. I’m an idiot. Now it’s a check!

At this point I find myself holding my Gran Torino (you might know it as my bicycle) while tucking my right pant leg into my sock. Why? You ask – well, fuck head, because I don’t want to ruin my work pants by getting them caught in the Gran Torino chain.
As I’, getting ready to ride away down College St. it hit me, the melody from the shower, it was “Its Late” from the album “News of the World”. I had watched a movie recently with that song in it, it was awesome. I took it as a sign and proceeded to play Queen I front to back while I rode my bicycle to work (I was gonna call it Gran Torino but fuck it I’m getting tired of that name, and I don’t even call it Gran Torino that often… I lied for the sakes of this story).

I throw on the headphones and crack up the volume (Really stupid thing to do, I know but don’t judge me you would be doing the same thing if you had that intro guitar riff from “Keep Yourself Alive” blasting in your ears). With that being said, I started my journey to work. I was humming the guitar solos, breaking to the beat of the drum; hell I was even playing air cymbals while going full speed across Spadina. I’ve have never felt so powerful while riding a girls 70’s coaster bike. I felt like I could take on a fucking garbage truck if I wanted too… For that I gotta thank the boys, Freddie, Brian, Roger, John.

I know my goal was to hear the album front to back on my way to work, however, something change, I wasn’t the same morning bicycle rider any more. To my surprise I was so jackt up on Queen I, by the time “My Fairy King” was over I was locking my bike and ready to go into work.

Needless to say I haven’t been able to do shit all day because all I can think about is how awesome Queen is, hence why I’m writing this stupid story to let you all know how my day was changed by Queen I.

In conclusion, the events that took place at my house this morning and led to me writing this story right now at 2:47p.m. are not events that occur on an every day basis. Events like this one should be embraced and given the necessary attention. In my opinion today, September 25^th 2009, Queen is the greatest band in the world.

I’m not going to proofread this story, nor am I going to go back to it at a later time. Its done, so don’t bother telling me I have a run on sentence here, or a plural possessive there, maybe a couple of split infinitives with some messed up contractions cause I don’t care.

Truth is, I GET JACKT and tonight I’m getting drunk as fuck!

Rock forth,

Dave Ambrad

a.k.a. Colombian Dave