I am still deaf from last nights Teenage Head show. Jess got all pumped up to go, so Bones, Jimbo, Jess and I decided to go. It was such a blast boozing and partying in a room full of old school rockers.
I woke up today and I was happy to see my favorite weather outside. Somewhat overcast and 18 degrees. The perfect day for a human furnace. This weather triggers a good memory in me. Back in 1997, around this time, was when I found Brighten the Corners in the free bin at Encore Records. I remember seeing the video for Stereo on The Wedge around that time, so I figure why not take the free sampler cd from Matador records. Life has not been the same since. Slowly but surly this album became one of my all time favorites. It opened the doors to not only every other Pavement album, but other bands like Silver Jews, Guided By Voices, and Sebadoh. Little did Encore know how many hundreds of dollars my brothers and I would spend at their store all because of one free CD.
Every time spring rolls around and the weather is nice out, I feel an uncontrollable urge to roll down the windows on my car and crank BTC as loud as possible. Every tune is incredible. Start to finish. It has my second favorite Pavement tune of all time on there, Starlings of the Slipstream. Second only to Grounded, which is the worlds greatest song from any band ever.
Everyone has one album that changed their take on music, for me its Brighten the Corners.
A fucking classic, and I don't care what anyone says.
Normally, my birthday doesn't cause me the slightest bit of alarm. That all changed when I turned 27. This, like several key moments in
my early life, was the direct result of Kurt Cobain's influence on me.
When you're a teenager, you're desperately grasping for older role models. They've lived more life and experienced things you haven't yet. Basically, they've got it more together than you do. In hindsight, saying that Cobain symbolized those qualities for me might seem horribly naive, but you'll have to take my word for it -- and I certainly wasn't the only one who felt this way.
Before his suicide, Cobain represented a heightened version
of my fledgling creative self, or so I flattered myself to believe. I didn't want to be a rock star, and I have forever found Courtney Love repellent, but Cobain exuded a brave, funny, likable sincerity that meshed with a tremendous talent for songwriting and performance, equal parts loud and tender. (Go back to In Utero and MTV Unplugged in New York. What other band achieved such extremes in volume in the span of a year?) A gifted popular artist, he played the game but did it better than all the poseurs and sell-outs who usually get the platinum plaques and nail the chicks. Cobain's success meant that, hey, maybe I had a chance in the world.
Kurt, of course, did not see his stardom that way.
When Rolling Stone published its (little-did-we-know) final interview with Cobain in early 1994, the drug/breakup rumors were rampant, and so the Nirvana Nation sought any encouraging sign possible. And Cobain happily obliged, telling reporter David Fricke that he had stopped doing heroin, gotten healthy, discovered contentment in his baby daughter, and could foresee a future for himself and his band.
Cobain was gonna make it.
I wanted to believe it, he wanted me to believe it, but he lied to both of us.
He died a few months later at the age of 27.
I wasn't yet 20 when Cobain killed himself, and so 27 seemed a long way off. (Shielded by the warm, protective bubble of college, you tend to treat most of real life as something a long way off.) But when I hit that fateful age -- the same age that brought the deaths of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison -- I finally understood why people got gloomy about another candle on the cake. Hardly a perfectly adjusted, wholly wonderful person myself at 27, I somehow sensed that I had reached a pivotal moment in my faithful adoration of Cobain.
Initially, my birthday felt like the beginning of the end. When you use music as a spiritual guide and therapist, you find yourself inextricably linked to the artist. Not only do you relate to the singer, you start to turn to the songs for counseling and direction: What would Kurt do? My close connection with Cobain presumed I would always feel and experience life as he did. But once I realized I had no intention of putting a gun to my head at age 27, I broke the bond between the awkward kid and the cool older role model. And now there were no Nirvana songs to tell me what to do next. So it was time for a little reevaluation.
When you're a kid, you emulate your big brother. When you grow up, you see him more clearly. Cobain was an enormous talent -- no passage of time changes that fact -- but his downfall now seems less tragic, less mythic. Suicide, as Cobain must have surmised, creates an aura of artistic "legitimacy," a permanent punctuation mark to a career and a life more perfect than a thousand Neverminds. But what seemed "cool" in my adolescence rings false now. Cobain's suicide note -- filled with complaints about not being able to feel the joy of music anymore -- only offers lame excuses. The life of an artist requires courage, requires the individual to struggle in order to find his creative voice despite considerable obstacles. The best work comes from such doubt and anguish: In Utero gives me comfort for that very reason; every howl cleanses and liberates the soul. Why didn't he realize that?
When Cobain died, music critics pointed to his lyrics as bracing proof that he had planned this exit for a while:
One more special message to go And then I'm done and I can go home
I'd rather be dead than cool
Look on the bright side, suicide
With 10 years hindsight, and with my own 20s in the rearview mirror, those words remain indelible blueprints for the confusion and anger of youth. But they aren't words worth living for. I'll take the unpredictable, lengthy careers of Neil Young, Lou Reed, Warren Zevon, Prince and Bob Dylan over the wham-bam mercurial genius of a Nirvana. Ten years ago, I would have scoffed at anybody who dared to speak such blasphemy. But 10 years ago, these lines from Pavement would have meant nothing to me either:
Simply put, I want to grow old Dying does not meet my expectations Let's drink a toast to all those who arrived alive
Stephen Malkmus, a smart guy in it for the long haul, wrote that when he turned 30. I can't wait to see what he has to say at 50.
Tim Grierson is an editor of The Simon, a weekly online publication of culture, politics, and humor.
So I was reading about the Pollard band The Takeovers and their album Bad Football. I had no idea that Tad Doyle of the mighty TAD plays on that album, as does the Mudhoney drummer...with some other dude named Stephen Malkmus or some shit. That totally got me excited to crank some TAD all day today. Given that today is around the time Kurt and Layne died as well, I may as well just crank some "grunge" all fucking day!! JOIN ME WONT YOU?!?!?
Missing is one of my very favorite shirts that I got at The Bronx show I went to. I am scared I lost it in the move from the condo to CoolTown. If anyone out here happens to know its whereabouts please report back to me and you will get a 6 pack coming your way.
I just came across the list of what is in the jukebox at the "Mogwai Bar" in Glasgow. Laura and I are gonna party hard at this place next month
1. The Smiths – Louder Than Bombs 2.Teenage Fanclub – Man-made 3.Arab Strap – The Last Romance 4.Gay Against You – Righteous Signals 5.Arcade Fire – The Suburbs 6.Devo – Oh No! It’s Devo/Freedom Of Choice 7.Baroness – The Blue Album 8.Grandaddy – Just Like The Fambly Cat 9.Dinosaur Jr. – Bug 10.Chemikal Underground – CHEM087CD 11.New York Noise – V/A 12.Remember Remember – S/T 13.The Acoustic Night Album – V/A 14.Cocteau Twins – Stars and Topsoil 15.The Come-on’s – Hip Check 16.TV On The Radio – Dear Science 17.Twilight Sad – Forget The Night Ahead 18.Mum – Finally, we are no-one 19.Deerhoof – Offend Maggie 20.Black Mountain – In The Future 21.The Field – Yesterday & Today 22.James Orr Complex – Com Favo 23.The Phantom Band – The Wants 24.Yeasayer – All Hour Cymbals 25.Butthole Surfers – Hairway To Steven 26.Flamin’ Groovies – Teenage Head 27.Belle and Sebastian – Tigermilk 28.Health – Get Colour 29.Holy Fuck – S/T 30.Sebadoh – Bubble & Scrape 31.Deerhunter – Microcastles 32.Union Of Knives – Violence & Birdsong 33.Shocking Pinks – S/T 34.A Compendium of Music – Sleazys Local Band Compilation 35.Raveonettes – Pretty In Black 36.Home – XIV 37.Mogwai – Special Moves 38.Super Furry Animals – Hey Venus 39.Pixies – Surfer Rosa 40.Whale – We Care 41.My Latest Novel – Deaths & Entrances 42.The Knife – Silent Shout 43.Girls vs Boys – House And G vs B 44.Tiger – We Are Puppets 45.Errors – Come Down With Me 46.Folchen – Part 1, John Shade You Fortune’s Made 47.The Fall – The War Against Intelligence 48.Fugazi – End Hits 49.Edan – Beauty And The Beat 50.The Dirtbombs – Ultraglide In Black 51.Le Tigre – S/T 52.Kong – Snare Magnet 53.Mudhoney – Superfuzz Bigmuff 54.Neon Neon – Stainless Style 55.Camera Obscura – My Maudlin Career 56.Fatalists – Between The Aisles 57.Dirty Projectors – Bitte Orca 58.Jesus & The Mary Chain – Psychocandy 59.Feist – The Reminder 60.Part Chimp – Thriller 61.Grinderman – S/T 62.Beach House – Teen Dream 63.Fang Island – S/T 64.PJ Harvey – Stories From The City, Stories From The Sea 65.M Ward – Post War 66.Interpol – Turn On The Bright Lights 67.Zero Boys – Vicious Circle 68.Beirut – The Flying Club Cup 69.Smog – Knock Knock 70.My Bloody Valentine – Isn’t Anything 71.Bronto Skylift – The White Crew 72.Girls – Album 73.Black Lips – 200MillionThousand 74.The Flaming Lips – At War With The Mystics 75.Copy Haho – Bred For Skills & Magic 76.Sons & Daughters – This Gift 77.Lord Cut-Glass – S/T 78.Pavement – Quarantine The Past 79.Monks – Black Monk Time 80.Ramones – It’s Alive 81.Belle & Sebastian – The Life Pursuit 82.Fuck Buttons – Tarot Sport 83.Flying Lotus – Los Angeles 84.Minor Threat – S/T 85.New Order – Substance 86.Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers – S/T 87.Lou Barlow – Emoh 88.Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavillion 89.Sonic Youth – Daydream Nation 90.The Cramps – Stay Sick 91.Yeah Yeah Yeah’s – It’s Blitz 92.Dananananayckroyd – Hey Everyone 93.Violent Femmes – S/T 94.The Unwinding Hours – S/T 95.The Vaselines – Sex With An X 96.Sonic Youth – Rather Ripped 97.DeSalvo – Mood Poisoner 98.Sleigh Bells – Treats 99.Autoconstruction – V/A 100.Mogwai – The Hawk Is Howling
I was talking to Kyle today about one of my favorite 80s horror movies - Trick or Treat. A classic film where the spirit of Sammi Curr, a recently deceased metal star (he died in a hotel fire) comes back to life after his biggest fan (Ragman) plays his very last recording backwards on his record player. If you have not seen it, pick it up NOW!
I also managed to get my hands on a copy of the soundtrack on vinyl. Find that too if you can!
