310-PRICKS: Why I Hate Bell Canada

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I FUCKING HATE BELL CANADA!!!!!!!

So back when I lived with Momma and Pappa B, I ordered the internet from Bell. I called. I set it up. I used my credit card. For whatever reason Bell decided to use my moms name, probably because it was the same address. This is where shit got bad. When I moved to Guelph I called to change my service to this new address and this sweet lady helped me out. No problem.

All was well for a year. Until I had to move.

I moved into this sweet ass condo, and I was excited to bring my modem with me. For reasons which would take an entire year to explain, the dude below us seemed to have ripped out every phone jack from our house. Thankfully he missed the one behind the microwave. I plug in my modem and call Bell. This is where blood began to boil.

This prick gets on the line, clearly someone who hates his job and life. I would too working for Bell, so I guess I cant blame him. Anyhoo, he asks me for my B1 number. I give it to him and he says it is wrong. Which I thought was weird. He refused to listen any further until I had my b1 number. Steaming I tell him I am going to cancel, and he says "ok."

I cool off by morning, pack up my macbook and modem and drive all the way back to Guelph, another city. I still had my apartment there for a couple days so i go to this empty apartment, plug in the modem and laptop and get my B1 number. The very same number I gave this asshole the night before. I was furious.

I get home and call, only they are closed on Sunday.

I called the next morning and this nice man got on the line, but you can tell it was more or less his first day, but he did something no one else has done, he made an effort. He said a line was already being used in the house I was living in. I said that's not possible. He puts me on hold and says he will call that number. Very faintly I hear the phone line in the Pita place below me ring. It all made sense. This asshole (who constantly parks in my driveway by the way) ripped out my phone jacks so he could use the line in his pita place. I explained this to the man on the phone, and he said I would have to split the lines.

I was defeated. I said FUCK IT. So I did the dumbest thing a man can do in this situation. I keep the modem. I pay my bills for the next 5 months. Not one KB went through that phone line all summer and I paid 60 bucks a month. I thought "its such a pain in the fucking ass to cancel and then get a new service, and I am going to be moving out in October so fuck it....I will bite the bullet and pay for the summer then move and all will be ok."

So now I am moving into this AWESOME place this week and I wanna hook up this cursed modem.

I just called and this energetic guy gets on the line who was actually trying to help me. Ill give him that. He asked the dreaded B1 question which I failed again. I made an attempt to tell my story as to whats going on. He asked if I could read my credit card number and with relief I said "yea! of course!"

I pull out my wallet and its not there. I left it in my passport wallet after my trip to NYC. AWESOME!!

I tell him I will go get my account number from the website. I hang up, and realize I have to do the whole "forgot my password, forgot my username" shit. After 10 minutes I call back. This lady answers asking for my account number. FUCK YA!! No b1!!

I give it to her and she asks for the name on the account. Shoulders shrugged I tell her my moms name. Make a half assed attempt to explain why her name is on and not mine. She gives me the speech. "You cant change the service address without her on the line."

I snapped.

"I CHANGED IT TO GUELPH WITHOUT HER NO PROBLEM!!"

"someone did a favor than."

"I PAID 5 FUCKING MONTHS WITHOUT USING IT ONCE AND NOW YOU WONT LET ME TAKE IT TO MY NEW PLACE>?!?!"

"No I cant do that"

"FUCKING FINE....I WILL CANCEL AND GO TO ROGERS"

"ok."

I am going to drive to Momma B's house and get her on the line to cancel your fucking HORRIBLE service.

FUCK YOU BELL!